Japanese Radio Personality
I awoke in a wide landscape of snow and hills, no idea why I was there, who I was, or who actually had my pants… then in the distance a small figure, looked like a boy, a shadowy youth loomed in the distance,he approached with a can of dog food in his hand. In my mind I recall several villagers mentioning such a character, but they dismissed their tale as folklore, a myth… but I knew now he was no myth. I recalled further… finally wading through my swiss-cheese brain and remembering his mythical name… “Tim?” I asked. ”Yea?” he responded. I knew it! I knew it, the legendary Tim was real! And I had found him! Flickory recruited me. Tim gestured to me as if he wanted me to follow him, and I did. We walked for a few… what felt like minutes, long, long, minutes. Then he stopped. The Mythical Tim beckoned me to hold here and wait, and I did. Long stretching seconds passed then a vehicle approached Tim and I, I wasted no time and waited patiently, long before the Mythical Tim could… I thought. ”Here’s the bus”, Tim remarked, it seemed his rush to patience was not so, since he was already there… the bus stopped. Tim and I walked on the driver asked for no money she just smiled and welcomed me in. Tim was going to eat me… or his driver from hell was going to sacrifice me for more of Tim’s dog food, or worse yet, I’d have to compose a rap on the spot accompanied by another youth who had no rhythm. What was to become of me? Tim sat, his seat seemed to fit only one, besides I really wanted to be as far from this cannibal and his chauffeur… I am done for. I find my seat… it wasn’t the furthest from them it was just… mine… it’s hard to explain, its like the seat belonged to me… so I sat, bravely, and with intention of sitting… all among this bus retuning to hell knew I intended to sit, and was destined to do so, and I did. The bus moved, we traveled at a casual pace as if the driver intended on drawing out every last moment of this torturous apprehension… she hated me, I felt it, so with all the hate and contempt that I have ever mustered I fired back, with a deafening silence that she so deserved, I am her payback for all her sins, I will right the wrongs her existence hath wrought, and I did. As I vengefully licked the window nearest to me, I tasted something different something new… it wasn’t the usual faint ammonia, mixed with salty tears, snot and spit… there was something… else. Then it hit me. Tim had nodded off and lost his dog food can, it rolled around the busroom floor and it was at my foot. I have the can now, I am in control! But then I realized, how did I know what the window tasted like? And where would I find a can opener?
i have officially lost it.
i know why a raven is like a writing desk.
edgar allen poe wrote on both.
Nigh on twenty years knowing about this riddle, and IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THIS MIGHT BE THE ANSWER.
When I used to work at Disneyland, I asked Alice this question… yap, thats the answer I got. So it must be true.
if i ever see any of you in public, the code is “i like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything